Our love isn’t perfect. We’re fighting a lot, we disagree, we’re shouting, we’re ignoring each other, we’re both proud & it’s hard to get back into each other’s arms after a fight. I’m sick about all that perfect love propaganda that is poisoning our souls with the constant disappointment caused by our high expectations. We’re confused by the perfect pictures that are constantly using the most infectious hashtag “#couplegoals ” & in fact we have no f*cking idea what is going on in their couples anyways. We’ve been fed with the idea of a happy ending & a perfect Prince Charming with every fairytale we’ve heard & all the American teenage love stories we’ve seen. I’m also a victim of this, but i’ve always found a dose of reality in the Russian, Italian, French & even Romanian Love Story movies. Most of the time there is no happy ending, it’s mostly about the story.
My point is that, media, internet, cinema… isn’t preparing us for what a relationship really is. Everybody is showing off with rainbows & unicorns that are pooping butterflies & nobody’s getting real about this subject. So i blame this Utopia, for all the teens & adults that are facing solitude & big problems into getting involved with someone, building up a relationship/family, fighting for their feelings & basically sharing their lives. We’re all chasing for our soulmate, without realizing that a soulmate usually is the person that comes in your life to teach you a lesson, to complete something that misses in your puzzle. So basically a soulmate is a person that you are likely to fight & disagree a lot.
Happily ever after isn’t a fairytale, but a choice you get to make everyday – NOT EASY!
Basically today i want to give you some tips i’ve learned in my short “wife career”:))
1.Go on date nights.
Just because you’re married or with kids, or just in a long term relationship it doesn’t mean that your social life is over. “Never stop being your husband’s girlfriend”, whoever said that deserves an award. Surely it’s not easy, you’re having a full time job, you try to spend time with your kids, do the groceries, keep you house clean & have at least a 6 hour sleep. But from time to time, you deserve to get your heels on & enjoy a dinner in two…somewhere. In case of kids – ask your friends/family members or even pay a nanny. Believe me it’s worth it & absolutely necessary!
2. Communicate often
You see, we’re not mind readers. My husband often assumes that i know what he’s thinking & it’s my main struggle. For me it’s probably the most important thing to be updated with his fresh ideas & new thoughts, plans or even bad news & sad facts. And as a woman i also love to be asked questions, even if i am communicating constantly:))
I’m still learning…he’s still learning. We know each other since we were 16/17 & we’re still learning to apologize & calm down our ego’s. Taking responsibility for your faults creates trust.
4. Assume the best
It’s hard to remember after every moment of criticism or fight the good things about your spouse. It’s a real struggle to see the positive side. But assuming the best & offering your time & energy to a good vibe will bring you only happiness. Try to assume the best about each other…try!
5. Win -Win
Who is wrong & who is right?…a never ending labyrinth. When 2 are fighting the 3rd one will win so try to find a solution that you haven’t discussed yet!
It is a choice! Any small gesture, a kind word will work to feed your healthy relationship. Imagine that it’s just as your car always needs a gas refill…but it’s better because it doesn’t need your money.
7. Forgive always
It’s the best habit you can learn as a couple. For me it’s always associated with a smile.
8. Kiss , kiss , kiss
For the sake of OXYTOCINE, kiss! This hormone needs to be kissed in order to offer you love that poops butterflies in your stomach:)))))) ( i’ve just pictured this..& it’s so wrong in so many ways…but i hope you’ve got my point)!
Photo: Raluca Antuca
Photos created for iTux campaign
I was wearing: iTux jacket
SWEET PAPRIKA tophat
random feather dress…i don’t know where i have it from
Epica patent booties from Tezyo.ro